Movie Review: Navy Seals vs. Zombies

NavySealsvsZombiesTry not to fall asleep during this week’s review of Navy Seals vs. Zombies Here’s what it’s about:

“A team of highly skilled Navy SEALS find themselves embarking on the battle of their lives when they come face-to-face with the undead. After a deadly outbreak occurs in New Orleans, the SEALS must fight for their lives, and the city, against an army of zombies.”

This movie is appropriately rated lower than 1 star out of 5 on Netflix. Unfortunately, it’s a snooze fest.

I sigh when I think about the Navy Seals. They looked more like retired military turned soldier of fortune or as if they had just come back from Afghanistan after sitting around doing nothing for months: no PT and too many high-calorie Chicken Ala King MREs. Every last one of them was uninteresting. Instead of hoping they live, I rooted for the zombies to pick them off.

One thing stands out about these zombie movies with the main characters in the military. Uniformed men running around with WMDs against zombies does not carry a movie. It’s like watching my sons play video games. Keeps my attention for about 2 minutes. There needed to be other civilian character we care about. In this case, the Seals stood out as the main focus, overshadowing saving the Vice President, who was as equally boring as they were.

In regards to the zombies, I wondered if they did their own makeup, a thing frequently done in low-budget zombie movies and very noticeable. This movie has not excuse. There were recognizable actors in this one. Zombie movies should NEVER pay has been actors’ salaries over focus on zombie makeup and bloody, half-eaten corpses.

My Rating: 1 out of 5 Bloody Brains

Please leave zombie movie suggestions in the comments.
I prefer movies rated below a 4 on IMDB.

Movie Review: Mimesis

MimesisYAY! A zombie movie review this week. Well, Mimesis is kind of a zombie movie. Here’s what it’s about:

“A group of horror fans find themselves unwilling participants in a nightmarish role playing game that pays homage to a classic horror film.”

The ‘classic horror film’ is Night of the Living Dead. What’s hilarious is that the description for the movie is a spoiler. It’s better to go into this movie having not read that part, thinking that the zombies are real and that the characters have slipped into a more unexplained version of the original Night of the Living Dead than a mimesis. However, that’s not to say you’ll love the movie if you do watch unknowing.

I enjoyed about the last 15 minutes of this one, after the characters found out that they were in a mimesis and forced to role play. Prior to that, there were a bunch of like characters to Night of the Living Dead, running around mimicking the movie. All I can say is, BORING! There are some movies that should never be remade in the original’s image. Do I have to say more?

Still, this movie wasn’t horrible. The acting was okay. And the ending really is worth watching.

My Rating: 3 out of 5 Bloody Brains

Please leave zombie movie suggestions in the comments.
I prefer movies rated below a 4 on IMDB.

Call for Obstruction Paperback Available

Call for Obstruction CoverInstead of releasing a new part of Warrant for Damnation on Wattpad today, I released Call for Obstruction on paperback on Amazon. WHOO HOO! Feels GREAT to have the book back for sale. I don’t know why I waited so long.

Hurry and get it free on eBook until September 1st. After that you’ll only be able to get it free through the end of the year if you join my mailing list. Sign up is easy. Just enter your email address in the field on the right column.

Now I’m off to do the geeky thing and finish formatting HTML files for the eBook for Amazon. I should probably finish editing part 2 of Warrant for Damnation and the next part of my marketing plan too. So little time.

Movie Review: Stitches

StitchesI’ve got a good one for you this week, although it’s not a zombie movie. Stitches had me laughing out loud, and here’s what it’s about:

“The clumsy and unfunny clown Richard “Stitches” Grindle goes to the birthday party of little Tom and the boy and his friends play a prank with Stitches, tying his shoelaces. Stitches slips, falls and dies. Six years later, Tom gives a birthday party for his friends at home and the clown revives to haunt the teenagers and revenge his death.”

I’m starting to think that I enjoy horrific clown movies just as much as zombie movies. Clowns are creepy enough, it seems natural to make them monsters and killers.

I don’t remember how I found this movie, but it ended up in my Netflix cue. Maybe it was the spirit of Stitches himself who put it there. Wouldn’t that be fun and nightmare inducing.

The main reason I like this movie is for the comedy. All of the killings of the teenagers were creative and nicely gross with plenty of blood. Yes, I mentioned teenagers, which means this is a teenage slasher movie from the U.K.

The acting is good, the storyline is good, it’s funny, and brain splattering bloody. What more could you ask for. I loved this movie! Watch it!

My Rating: 5 out of 5 Bloody Brains

Please leave zombie movie suggestions in the comments.
I prefer movies rated below a 4 on IMDB.

Read Warrant for Damnation Part 1

I am VERY excited to announce that part 1 of Warrant for Damnation, The Courier #2 released today on Wattpad. I was going to wait until the beginning of September, but I really need to light some fire under my ass to get this novel edited quicker. New parts will release every Friday morning.

If you haven’t read book 1, Call for Obstruction, you can also read it on Wattpad. Or you can get it free on Smashwords.

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