Week 3 Bad Zombie Movie Marathon Reviews

It’s week 3 of my zombie movie a day marathon with Gaynor Stenson on the Vamplit Blog and I haven’t gone crazy yet. Jake and I are still watching our way through some pretty poorly rated movies, and this week we found a few gems and a few stinkers.

These reviews are also posted with Gaynor’s over on Vamplit Blog.

Beast Within was one of my favorites this week. I watched it alone after seeing that it was a German film, expecting subtitles which my son hates. Turned out it had been dubbed in English, although I would have preferred it in German. I’ve watched so many badly dubbed horror movies, what’s another one, right? Unfortunately not everyone shares my opinion, because the dubbing is what brought the rating down on this movie. This was a pretty good zombie flick about a new strain of avian flu turning people into zombies. Even better, the birds are infected and just as nuts. This film had a dark and dreary atmosphere, mainly taking place at a rundown old house. Right up my alley. Some of the characters were just as dark as the zombies, adding to decent storyline the tension in the film. I give it 4 out 5 bloody brains and say at least give it a try.

I hated Edges of Darkness through the first fifteen minutes because I hadn’t read the movie description. It’s a weird one and you need to go into this film knowing it’s three different tales of survivors after a ‘global apocalypse.’ The tales just didn’t mesh and left me thinking, huh? In addition, there is only one part of the film that touchds on zombies which was during a vampire tale. Still, the stories got better as the film progressed, and in the end I can say it wasn’t horrible. But if you’re looking for a zombie film, skip this one. Overall I’m generous, giving it 3 out of 5 stars because you don’t get much in the way of bloody brains in this one. Jake was in agreement.

Awaken the Dead is the worst zombie movie Jake and I have watched by far. It tried to be artsy and fell on it’s face. And I can’t comment any better than another reviewer who said, “Beware of movies that have scenes with alarm clocks going off throughout. It seems the filmmakers were proactive about keeping viewers from sleeping through this stinker. I know I would have otherwise slept through it.” Jake was nicer with his review. He said the music was kind of cool and would give the movie 1 out of 5 bloody brains solely based on the music. I can barely give it 1/2 a bloody brain.

Dead and Deader was a surprise because Dean Cain was in it, and while I didn’t recognize his name at first, I did recognize his face. He played a half zombie soldier who combats fellow soldiers who turned full zombies after they return to the states. Who better to foil the zombies and their makers, right? The movie would have made a fun television series on the comedy network, with Dean Cain playing the hero lead. It would also make a fun book series. Jake and I both enjoyed this one and the way it spoofed zombies. We gave it 4 out of 5 bloody brains.

Okay, maybe The Zombie Apocalypse was the worst zombie movie we’ve watched so far. We both lost interest in this one shortly into the movie. I think it’s because this movie doesn’t really have anything unique or interesting to offer. I found myself checking email half way in and Jake left the room. I let it run, but couldn’t tell you how it ended because I may have been washing dishes by then. 1/2 a bloody brain out of 5 from both of us.

Zombie Town is my favorite zombie movie so far this month. This movie was laughable right off the bat when a zombie showed up and managed to overpower three hillbillies with a rake stuck in his head. This movie reminded me a little of Shawn of the Dead. It had likeable characters and funny moments. No, hilarious moments! There was a decent storyline and source for the zombies, which I don’t want to spoil, so you’ll have to watch the movie. Jake mentioned that this was the first zombie movie we’ve watched this month where they shot a sighted riffle properly. I had to laugh because that’s certainly not something I would have noticed. DO NOT MISS THIS ONE!! One of the best zombie comedy movie made in my opinion. 5 out of 5 bloody brains for both Jake and me.

I expected Severed: Forest of the Dead to be horrible. After all, sap from genetically engineered trees turns people into zombies. Well after watching it I still don’t know whether or not I liked it. The storyline bothered me. It seemed to be all over the place and missing side story with the lab and logging company outside of the loggers camp. Plus, this story contains a character I would have killed fifteen minutes after the loggers started turning into zombies. **SPOILER** I can tolerate a character like him maybe half way through the movie, but the entire movie? And the ending was disappointing. Where they filmed the movie, in the forest in a logging camp was cool though. Jake gave up on this one, so not teen friendly. In the end, I was generous with this one too and gave it 3 out of 5 bloody brains.

Next week’s movies: Johnny Sunshine, Return in Red, Nightmare Alley, Wicked Little Things, Shaolin vs. Evil Dead, Zombie Farm, Zombies, Zombies, Zombies

Week 2 Zombie Movie Marathon Reviews

Welcome to week 2 of the zombie movie a day marathon I’ve embarked on for Halloween with Gaynor Stenson on the Vamplit Blog. I’m posting my reviews here and over there with hers every Tuesday. My goal is still to watch the poorest rated zombie films by my streaming video provider, although this week the quality has improve quite a bit. Drop by the Vamplit Blog to read Gaynor’s reviews. Here are mine:

In Raiders of the Damned, yet another biological weapon has been unleashed on mankind and created the zombies. Only difference, the zombies don’t lose their intelligence and ability to organize. When a helicopter, transporting the scientists working on an anti-zombie serum goes down in the middle of zombie territory, they send in soldiers to rescue them. This film has some scathing reviews, but it was my favorite this week. I highly recommend you watch Raiders of the Damned, but leave your critical side out of the viewing. Don’t take this movie too seriously, after all, it’s described as campy. The actors and the characters they portrayed carried the movie despite some of the poor acting. And sure the special effects sucked, the picture quality sucked, the zombies’ mismatched make up sucked, but the storyline wasn’t bad and you even got some zombie/human lovin’. If you watch it and still hate it, feel free to bash me in the comments. It’s all in fun, and it’ll still be one of my favorites for the month. I give it 4 out of 5 bloody brains. My son’s comment, “Better than what we saw last week.”

*SPOILER* Dead Heist is about a bunch of boys from the hood who decide to rob a bank in a small town, and out of dumb luck encounter zombies, migrating into the area. If you didn’t know this was a zombie film, you’d never guess the zombies would show up during the last thirty minutes of the film. In fact, the film dragged a bit in the beginning, but it wasn’t horrible. Finally, the action began when the bank robbers were held up in the bank by the police. After the zombies and a zombie hunter show up, they all have to fight together to survive. This turned out to be a pretty good zombie movie despite the slow start. It was well thought out and the acting wasn’t all that bad. There was also an awesome scene you shouldn’t miss where hordes of zombies ascend an escalator to attack the people. In the end my son commented, “I can’t believe they let the black guys live. Them and the slutty blondes always go first.” He also enjoyed the bank robbery storyline. Together we agreed it deserved 4 out of 5 bloody brains.

Oasis of the Zombies or The Treasure of the Living Dead wasn’t on my original list. I added it after finding another one of my titles was not a zombie movie. This was a new streaming release I’m glad I found because it’s a Jesus Franco movie and I love his films. Yes, you read me right. He’s a director people love or hate for the most part. Take a look at his filmography and you’ll find he’s directed quite a few low budget films. You don’t usually get much of a storyline in Franco films, but there’s just something about the atmosphere of his movies I love. Apparently this is two movies spliced into one, which I didn’t notice. This is something Franco is know to do. What was it about? The search for rumored gold, stashed in the dessert by Nazis. When treasure hunters get close to finding the gold, they encounter an army of zombies, guarding the horde. Personally I think this was one of his better films despite the fact that the picture quality sucked. The best part of the movie were the low budget zombies with worms and insects crawling all over their faces. Not much of a gory movie compared to other flesh eating horror. Don’t watch this one unless you appreciate Franco films or want a good taste of what he creates. I gave it 3 out of 5 bloody brains.

Death Valley: The Revenge of Bloody Bill mixed together a western, a ghost story, revenge and zombies, and at least tried at a decent storyline. What it mostly delivered were zombies running amok and turning more people into zombie followers of Bloody Bill. There wasn’t enough of Bloody Bill in this movie, who should have been a more evil character like a Freddie Krueger. In the end, I can’t say I liked it or didn’t like it. My son thought the movie was all right, but the actors were annoying. Still he gave it 3 out of 5 bloody brains. I’m somewhere between 2 and 3.

I’ve heard a lot of people complain about the 2008 version of Day of the Dead, so I went into the viewing with low expectations. Maybe that’s why I thought it wasn’t spectacular, but I enjoyed it. I think this film stands on it’s own though, and any reference to it being a remake is ridiculous. Maybe that’s one thing turning people off. I suppose my favorite part of the film is that it takes place in Leadville, Colorado, me being a Colorado girl and all. I did have a problem with the cause of the zombies being a biological weapon, created by the government. Anyone who knows anything about Leadville knows there are enough toxins in the environment that the town should already be infested with the walking dead. All kidding aside, I love horror movies where women kick butt, and I think Mena Suvari did a pretty good job, leading the fight against the zombies. I was even okay with the superhuman zombies. How they transformed and how quickly they burned sent me into a, “Yeah, whatever” moment though. I also thought a larger budget film should have created better gory torture scenes than a bunch of crazed zombies biting the crap out of people. Oh, and holding the zombie captive was just stupid. My son enjoyed this one more that I did and gave it 4 out of 5 bloody brains. I couldn’t give it any more than 3.

C’mon people, Day of Darkness was awesome! My second favorite of the week. This time a comet falls to earth and releases a dust into the atmosphere that creates the zombies, and in this case there’s another surprise. This movie goes beyond zombies and turns humans into incubators for alien parasites, and in a not so nice way. I can’t spoil this one, so you’ll have to watch to find out or go read another review. It’s some of the weirdest shit I’ve seen in a movie and not for the squeamish. One of the things I liked about this movie is that it brought together a diverse group of survivors who couldn’t get along or work together, and the low budget actors played their parts well. There wasn’t a lot of zombie action in this one though, which brought my rating down a bit. My son didn’t watch this one with me, so no comments from the peanut gallery. I really enjoyed this one and would put it at the top of my list of favorite horror movies. So for me it’s 4 out of 5 bloody brains.

Zombie Island Massacre was more like watching a mixed episode of Fantasy Island and Scooby Doo. Typical bad acting, bad script, blah blah blah. What I liked is that they went old school voodoo zombie. It didn’t keep my attention and was a bit boring to the point I can’t even think of anything else to mention. 2 out of 5 bloody brains.

Heads up, next week’s movies include: Beast Within, Edges of Darkness, Awaken the Dead, Dead and Deader, The Zombie Apocalypse, Zombie Town, Severed: Forest of the Dead

Week 1 Zombie Movie Marathon Reviews

Here are my reviews for the first week of the zombie movie marathon Gaynor Stenson and I are doing over at the Vamplit Blog. You can read both my and her reviews over there too.

This will be quick. First of all, I’m glad I spared my son on this one and watched it alone. Yes, Zombie Nation rates with some of the worst horror movies I’ve seen. Yes, the acting sucked. The set looked like it was put together by garbage pickers. The script either confuses you or the characters tell you exactly what was going on. I did like the idea behind the movie, with the serial murderer’s victims coming back as traditional zombies. What baffles me the most is this is the worst rated movie on Netflix, but still there are 15 pages of bad reviews on Zombie Nation. I guess I’ll leave it at that and give it 1 out of 5 bloody brains like everyone else.

Infection has a cool cover, huh? Much better than the actual “things” that infect humans, which were more insect like. This movie wasn’t horrible, but it was not a zombie movie as far as I’m concerned, which is why I give it 1 out of 5 bloody brains. Everything about the movie felt a bit toned down, and a lot of the problem was the music that stayed at a consistent level and actually helped to make the film boring. My son’s response to the movie was, “I don’t know. I was half asleep.

Heads up, next week’s movies include: Raiders of the Damned, Dead Heist, Oasis of the Zombies, Death Valley: The Revenge of Bloody Bill, Day of the Dead (2008), Edges of Darkness, Zombie Island Massacre

Movie Review: Bad Taste & Dead Alive Directed by Peter Jackson

Peter Jackson, the director of the Lord of the Rings movies, directed two of my favorite horror flicks, Bad Taste and Dead Alive (also known as Brain Dead). I was shocked a couple years ago when I figured it out!

Jackson directed, wrote (with help) and appeared in Bad Taste back in 1987. In the movie, “the population of a small town disappears and is replaced by aliens that chase human flesh for their intergalactic fast-food chain.” Read more on IMDB…

Bad Taste is a mix of hilarious and gross slapstick. Here’s a perfect example… A favorite characters of mine, one of the special agents sent to save us from the aliens, fell early in the film and spent the remainder of the film trying to reincorporate his spilled brains back into his scull cavity.

While doing research on the film, I happened across some interesting trivia about the movie, like it took Jackson 4 years to make Bad Taste. And that “the movie was banned in the Australian state of Queensland until the early-’90s when the Queensland Censorship Board was disbanded.” More interesting movie trivia about Bad Taste on IMDB

I remember watching Dead Alive/Brain Dead with my youngest son, although it’s not a movie I’d recommend you let your kids watch. Dead Alive is a mixture of extreme gore and comedy, so no surprise, he and I were glued to the TV screen laughing and cringing all at the same time.

The movie is about “Lionel, a Mama’s boy, who has the unwanted honor of having to look after his overbearingly evil mother. He ends up falling in love with a local woman who believes that they’re destined together. In a moment of intentional sabotage of one of their dates, his mother is bitten by a mysterious creature that ends up zombifying her.” Lionel’s mother hunts human prey and quickly turns everyone she bites into zombies. Lionel fights the zombies in one of the goriest blood fests on film. There’s a scene with a lawnmower you’ve just gotta see! Read more on IMDB…

If you have a strong stomach don’t miss these films! Both are a 5 out of 5!

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