Movie Review: Summer of Blood

SummerOfBloodThis week’s review is Summer of Blood, and this review won’t be pretty. Here’s what it’s about:

“Erik Sparrow is one of the lucky ones. He’s got a good job. He’s in a stable relationship. He lives in one of the greatest cities in the world. Does he deserve it? Probably not. He’s not too bright. He’s not very attractive. He’s not at all ambitious. He’s chubby and he’s always complaining. And when his girlfriend Jody proposes to him, he doesn’t even have the good sense to accept her offer. He’ll never find a woman like this again. Instead, Erik bumbles his way around the issue, offering one excuse after another for not getting married. When Jody dumps him and starts seeing an old flame from college, Erik tries to win her back. When he fails, he attempts to date other women, but the results are disastrous. Erik’s starts falling apart. His job grows more unfulfilling. He becomes obsessed with a kinky co-worker who has no interest in him. He becomes riddled with despair. One night, Erik meets an enigmatic stranger named Gavin who asks him, “Do you want to die?” Erik shrugs and says, …”

If you managed to read through that description, you might understand why I hated this film so much. The main character is even more annoying than the description leads on. And where the heck is the vampire reference, ’cause this was a vampire movie in case you didn’t get it.

Taking a breath.

It may just be me that was so disgusted by the movie. Probably because the character was a cross between George Costanza and Woody Allen, which made my skin crawl just thinking about that cross again. I’m even a fan of both, but these two should NEVER have been merged into any character let alone a vampire. The main character even gets turned into a vampire and becomes a Don Juan, but he’s still not happy.

There seems to be a move toward making schlubs main characters and I sure hope this is a short fad. I for one will be avoiding these character in the future.

Only watch this movie if you’re wanting a little, I mean A LOT of misery.

My Rating: 1 out of 5 Bloody Brains

Please leave zombie movie suggestions in the comments.
I prefer movies rated below a 4 on IMDB.

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