Movie Review: Stitches

StitchesI’ve got a good one for you this week, although it’s not a zombie movie. Stitches had me laughing out loud, and here’s what it’s about:

“The clumsy and unfunny clown Richard “Stitches” Grindle goes to the birthday party of little Tom and the boy and his friends play a prank with Stitches, tying his shoelaces. Stitches slips, falls and dies. Six years later, Tom gives a birthday party for his friends at home and the clown revives to haunt the teenagers and revenge his death.”

I’m starting to think that I enjoy horrific clown movies just as much as zombie movies. Clowns are creepy enough, it seems natural to make them monsters and killers.

I don’t remember how I found this movie, but it ended up in my Netflix cue. Maybe it was the spirit of Stitches himself who put it there. Wouldn’t that be fun and nightmare inducing.

The main reason I like this movie is for the comedy. All of the killings of the teenagers were creative and nicely gross with plenty of blood. Yes, I mentioned teenagers, which means this is a teenage slasher movie from the U.K.

The acting is good, the storyline is good, it’s funny, and brain splattering bloody. What more could you ask for. I loved this movie! Watch it!

My Rating: 5 out of 5 Bloody Brains

Please leave zombie movie suggestions in the comments.
I prefer movies rated below a 4 on IMDB.

Movie Review: Sharknado 4: The 4th Awakens

Sharknado4Bet you weren’t surprised to see this week’s review is Sharknado 4: The 4th Awakens. In case you’ve been hiding under a rock and have never seen a Sharknado movie, here’s what it’s about:

“Fin, his family and the cosmos have been blissfully sharknado-free in the five years since the most recent attack, but now sharks and tornadoes are being whipped up in unexpected ways and places.”

In preparation for this review, I re-watched Sharknado 1 and 2, and finally watched 3. Have to first say I’m a huge fan of these movies, but the verdict is out on whether I loved 4 as much as the others. The 4th movie was way more ‘all over the place’ than the others. Sure, crazy cheezy and incredibly unbelievable are two positive qualities for the Sharknado franchise. However, while watching 4 you can’t look away from the screen for even a second or you’ll miss something. Even though Thunder Levin is the sole writer, it felt like there were twenty writers, each competing to outdo the others in crazy scenes. This was not a good thing.

I did like that they jumped five years into the future and how they brought most of the characters back together. Moving to land tornados seemed right, but again, there were way too many types of land tornados.

While I’m hung up on some of the negative things that stood out, I did like the movie. And I’m watching it for a second time while writing this review. Did I just admit to that?

My Rating: 4 out of 5 Bloody Brains (1 star down from the 5 I give the first 3 movies.)

Please leave zombie movie suggestions in the comments.
I prefer movies rated below a 4 on IMDB.

TV Review: Preacher

PreacherI’m in a very confused state of mind going into this week’s review. It’s Preacher, the new AMC show, that has me perplexed. Here’s what it’s about:

“What if an angel and a demon procreate? What would that offspring be? Would it be holy or demonic or both? Preacher Is that tale. The offspring has no body, just a soul. That soul needs a body and chose Jessie. A preacher from Texas with a loss of faith and a drinking problem. The offspring called Genesis bonds with Jessie giving him the word of God. What he says is done.”

I just can’t figure out how I feel about this show. I have a laundry list of good and bad things to say about it. It’s like when you sit down, fold a piece of paper in half, and list the pros and cons, but you come up even and still can’t make up your mind.

Mainly, I come away for most show confused. It’s all over the friggin’ place, so much so that quite often it loses my interest. Maybe it’s because I haven’t read the comic series. Maybe it’s because I haven’t been watching Talking Preacher, and I’m dense and need someone to explain what I’m supposed to be leaving each show knowing. If you ask me, that alone makes it a bad show.

Still, I’m into the characters most of the time. They feel right out of a comic book, and I love that. Dominic Cooper who plays Preacher then lose my interest, and I’m back wondering why I’m watching. Same goes for the storyline. No consistency with this series. But the cinematography is awesome!

Why does Preacher keep losing me only to draw me back in with each new show? Why do I keep watching? Considering we’re 9 episodes in, I might have to tell you if something clicks during season 2, but right now I’m taking the cowards way out and rating Preacher right in the middle.

My Rating: 3 out of 5 Bloody Brains

Please leave zombie movie suggestions in the comments.
I prefer movies rated below a 4 on IMDB.

The Bad News, I’m an addict; The Good News, I’m in Recovery

ScreamFor the last few years I forgot my main career goal, become a successful fiction writer. I was slapped in the face with this realization back in April. Years of goals not met sent me over the edge. That and the stress in my life was threatening to kill me, literally. Yes, literally. My immune system was on fire when I was knocked on my ass. I was an addict hitting rock bottom, my drug of choice distractions.

I’m certainly NOT looking for pity. It was one of the best things to ever happen to me. Sometimes we need to fall to get back up stronger and wiser. Now, I’m here to say, NO MORE!

The last few months have been very productive. That means I can fulfill one of my annual goals: telling fans what’s new and exciting in the worlds I create. something I’ll start doing quarterly for all my stories and monthly for The Courier series. This is my quarterly check in with fans.

margeryI sat down and brainstormed on specific content and announcements. What might the readers of The Courier series want? The answer came to me right away. Margery the demon. She makes sense because everyone who has read the first book mentions her. So I had a conversation with Margery. Those of you who have read Call for Obstruction know that Margery is the antagonist. You also know she’s a bit of a chain smoker, and that her cigarettes are packed with magic you want to avoid. Well, Margery has decided she wants to tell her backstory. Let’s just say that when she rolled one of her cigarettes between thumb and index finger, I got out of her way and let her have what she wants. So I’ll hand my blog over to Margery once a month, and I guarantee you’ll love her posts or you’ll risk her wrath. I’ll also email her stories to email subscribers, something I’ll set up in the next few weeks.

Call for Obstruction CoverI’d like to remind everyone that Call for Obstruction is available for free and will remain free through the end of the year at least. It’s been on Wattpad and is now available on Smashwords. And it’s absolutely positively edited and finished. In case you missed it, the story also has a new book cover that I revealed a few months back. It’s by the amazing RL Treadway of Artlink.

What’s that you ask? When’s the next book coming out. Well, I’m in the middle of a rewrite that’s taking longer than expected. Warrant for Damnation will release in parts starting the fourth quarter of this year. The book cover for book 2 was released a few months ago. Want to see it, CLICK HERE.

I’m also editing old flash fiction stories and re-releasing them on Wattpad. Road to Nowhere was released this week. I’m going to try to re-release a story a week and will put a link in the right column, but we’ll see how that goes. Read them while you can. They’ll only be there temporarily before they’re officially published in a collection.

That’s all for this quarter. Until October. Whoo hoo! Halloween!

Movie Review: The Lazarus Effect

TheLazarusEffectWOW! I managed to write reviews two weeks in a row. Unfortunately I’ve got another boring one for ya, The Lazarus Effect. Here’s what it’s about:

“THE LAZARUS EFFECT follows a group of researchers led by Frank and his fiancé Zoe who’ve achieved the unimaginable – bringing the dead back to life. After a successful, yet unsanctioned, trial on a newly deceased animal, the team is ready to unveil their breakthrough to the world. When the dean of their university learns of their underground experiments, their project is unexpectedly shut down and their materials confiscated. Frank, Zoe and their team take matters into their own hands, launching a rogue attempt to recreate their experiment, during which things go terribly wrong and one of their own, Zoe, is horrifically killed. Fueled by terror and grief, Frank pushes them to do the unthinkable: attempt to resurrect their first human test subject.”

I watched this movie because I’m an Olivia Wilde fan, and her in a horror movie is a plus, or so I thought. I also love re-animator or resurrection movies like Flatliners. Remember that one? Came out in 1990 when a movie could still terrify me. Or Re-animator? Another awesome and campy 80s horror movie. *SIGH*

Talk about predictable Hollywood plot. The director followed every formula to make the audience jump, only most of us horror movie fans don’t fall for the same old tricks we’ve seen over and over and over again. Damn it, if you have a big budget, at least try something creative and new to scare us.

I came away from The Lazarus Effect only caring about the dog, and I don’t even remember or know what happened to the poor pooch.

I really need to get back to zombie movies next week!

My Rating: 2 out of 5 Bloody Brains

Please leave zombie movie suggestions in the comments.
I prefer movies rated below a 4 on IMDB.