Movie Review: It Follows

ItFollowsHey, I’m back with a bad one, It Follows. Here’s what it’s about:

“A young woman is followed by an unknown supernatural force after a sexual encounter.”

I happened upon It Follows while browsing for horror movies on cable. There was no rating for the movie, so I took my chances based on the description. I was sadly disappointed and quickly lost interest.

This could have been a good teen scream movie based on the description. Well, not the description on IMDB above, which says nothing about the true plot. Anyway, the idea of the movie is that the characters can pass a curse on to each other by having sex. To get rid of the curse, have sex with the next person you add to the chain. If the person you pass the curse on to dies, the curse comes back to you. Kinda cool idea, huh? Well, the story goes all over the place and the killings as a result of being cursed just fell flat.

Be careful to read a bunch of reviews before you watch this one. It’s rated way higher than it’s worthy. I was bored to death and never scared. Maybe grossed out a few times, but never scared.

My Rating: 1.5 out of 5 Bloody Brains

Please leave zombie movie suggestions in the comments.
I prefer movies rated below a 4 on IMDB.

Movie Review: He Never Died

HeNeverDiedThis week’s movie is He Never Died, and I enjoyed this one. Here’s what it’s about:

“Jack’s in a rut. Depression and severe anti-social behavior has whittled down his existence to sleeping and watching television. Seeing the human race as little more than meat with a pulse, Jack has no interest to bond with anyone. There’s little purpose for him to make friends with someone he’d eventually eat or outlive by more than a millennia. The fuse is lit when Jack’s past comes back to rattle him. Jack must now walk a tight rope of sobriety and try to eat as few people as possible in this violent tale of personal responsibility.”

Henry Rollins stars in this movie and he’s awesome as the lead. He has this even keel attitude throughout, but it works well. Even when he’s eating people he’s calm and collected, making it a little funny. Jack’s character personifies how we all just want to live our life, but we’re always tempted or dragged into chaos. You know, that side in all of us that we can’t always fight and eventually gets us in trouble of some kind or another. Unfortunately for Jack, he’s unable to die and stuck in the human condition for an eternity.

I enjoyed this movie because you get blood and gore and philosophy all in one. I highly suggest watching He Never Died.

My Rating: 4.5 out of 5 Bloody Brains

Please leave zombie movie suggestions in the comments.
I prefer movies rated below a 4 on IMDB.

Movie Review: Exists

ExistsSorry for taking last week off. It was a crazy week.

This week’s movie is Exists, and I have mixed feelings about this one. Here’s what it’s about:

“For five friends, it was a chance for a summer getaway- a weekend of camping in the Texas Big Thicket. But visions of a carefree vacation are shattered with an accident on a dark and desolate country road. In the wake of the accident, a bloodcurdling force of nature is unleashed-something not exactly human, but not completely animal- an urban legend come to terrifying life…and seeking murderous revenge.”

First off, Exists had some of the most stupidest characters I’ve seen in a movie. I was screaming many four-letter words at the TV screen every few minutes. Very annoying! At least give us one character with half a brain. Still, there was something about their stupidity that kept me watching. I found myself interested to find out what dumb move they’d make next, and of course, they delivered every time.

I have to acknowledge that the acting wasn’t bad and the big foots were cool.

I detested the Blair Witch Project style of filming, and that the character with the camera always seemed to be filming despite the tortures big foots inflicted on him.

If you’re feeling adventurous, give this one a try. Otherwise, don’t bother.

My Rating: 2.5 out of 5 Bloody Brains

Please leave zombie movie suggestions in the comments.
I prefer movies rated below a 4 on IMDB.

Movie Review: Wyrmwood: Road of the Dead

WyrmwoodAnother zombie movie this week. Wyrmwood: Road of the Dead has been sitting in my Netflix queue for nearly a year and I’m sorry I didn’t watch it sooner. Here’s what it’s about:

“Barry is a talented mechanic and family man whose life is torn apart on the eve of a zombie apocalypse. His sister, Brooke, is kidnapped by a sinister team of gas-mask wearing soldiers & experimented on by a psychotic doctor. While Brooke plans her escape Barry goes out on the road to find her & teams up with Benny, a fellow survivor – together they must arm themselves and prepare to battle their way through hordes of flesh-eating monsters in a harsh Australian bushland.”

I’d first like to say zombies + Australians = KICK ASS. Add in DO NOT MISS THIS MOVIE in all caps and I could leave it at that. But I enjoyed this movie so much that I have to tell you all the things I loved about it.

  • Freaky mad scientist who works while listening to KC and the Sunshine Band
  • Crazy macho outback zombie fighters dressed like The Preditor
  • Insanely dangerous zombies with flammable blood
  • Blood and gore and blood and gore and more blood and gore

Not since the Dead Snow movies have I enjoyed a zombie movie so much. This movie has everything and more. Great characters, decent acting, and best of all ingenuity. The independent movie industry is saturated with zombie movies, and this one stands out among them all. I’m even guessing the zombie lab will be duplicated in at least one Halloween house of horrors.

My Rating: 5 out of 5 Bloody Brains

Please leave zombie movie suggestions in the comments.
I prefer movies rated below a 4 on IMDB.

Movie Review: Stalled

StalledFINALLY, another zombie movie for my ‘best of’ list. Stalled was awesome! Here’s what it’s about:

“A janitor gets trapped in a women’s restroom and encounters an all-out attack by a horde of zombies.”

This movie is getting trashed by people for poor acting and cinematography, and all around bad taste. Plus it’s choppy in spots with no real explanation for why everyone turned into zombies. So why did I love it so much? Dan Palmer, both writer and lead, took a stab at originality and delivered both an interesting and funny storyline. I happen to think Dan Palmer was convincing in his role as the geeky, outcast janitor stuck in a bathroom stall during a zombie apocalypse. I found myself frequently laughing out loud, and there were even tender moments between the laughs. Good low-budget zombie action too.

Maybe I’m part of the immature few who never get tired of toilet humor. I do have Zombie Ass: Toilet of the Dead on my list of favorites. But anyway, I’ll be letting the world know that I give Stalled a big thumbs up! And if you don’t believe me that this movie is good, read British Zombie Film ‘Stalled’ Takes Zombie Films Out of the Toilet on Bloody Disgusting and you might change your mind.

My Rating: 4.5 out of 5 Bloody Brains

Please leave zombie movie suggestions in the comments.
I prefer movies rated below a 4 on IMDB.